The neighborhood molester couldn’t be bothered to abduct her children because they’re too fat. Her sex life is an exotic journey akin to “going around the world in 80 men.” And you really don’t want to know what the customer at the adult store did with that sausage, but you’re going to hear all the deliciously gory details.

Kristine Levine is a blonde, tattooed, proudly overweight single mother who raised three “moon-faced” kids while working as a porn clerk in Portland, OR. As a comedian, her refreshing candor and unflinching, twisted perspectives on life, love and dysfunction have earned her a reputation as a biting, brutal cross between Lenny Bruce and Roseanne Barr. From videotaping the anthropomorphic exploits of sex toys and using a co-worker’s semen to exact revenge on customers to clearing a dead body from a video booth, Kristine has seen - and done - it all and lived to tell the riotous tales.

Yet underneath her “shocking” exterior, Kristine is as genuine and disarming in real life as she is for a rollicking hour onstage. Simultaneously empowering and endearing, she gleefully plunders uncharted stand-up territory as a sweetly ambivalent Everygal who women fear yet are inexplicably drawn to…and who men fear yet are inexplicably drawn to.

In addition to regularly touring the country, Kristine has lived in Egypt, served as a radio DJ and boasts numerous commercials and voiceovers to her name. She most recently competed in the 2011 Seattle International Comedy Competition, can be seen alongside such comic notables as Sean Rouse and Brendon Walsh in feature stand-up documentary The Unbookables, and will perform at the 2012 South By Southwest music festival. She has appeared in multiple sketches throughout Seasons 1 and 2 of IFC’s Portlandia.

“It’s debatable whether honesty makes for the best comedy, but Levine certainly makes a damn good case for it being so by telling stories and observing motherhood, romance, and the oddities of life with the only filter being that it’s undeniably hilarious. If only all those journalists, essayists, and bloggers that continue the discourse on women being funny would see Levine, they’d probably switch their focus to how funny pornography, especially when discussed sincerely, can be.” – The Comedy Bureau

“She’s a sweet and honest woman who will destroy your soul with amazing comedy.” – Timmy Williams, The Whitest Kids U Know

“One of the few comics who doesn’t seem to gather her material via her remote control… Lucky crowds had their sensibilities challenged, tested and happily bruised, black and blue.” – The Oregonian

“An original talent in the current comedy scene. Kristine Levine’s stories are as honest as they are funny. A comedian that you would like to have a beer or 12 with – and probably will – after the show.” – Jon Green, booker/manager, Stage Left Comedy Entertainment