"First of all, longtime fan of your music. I’ve always been curious how these songs come together: is it one voice, two hands? Three jerks and Captain Kirk? …. You guys into any cool ritual worship, orgies?

Not an ideal start … Let me just say that I find your music terribly without pretension but I am more impressed by your ability to stomach the pretensions of others. Undoubtedly, this is the North Star of your genius.

Loved Stoned Not Stupid. Royal Wedding broke the bank. Was blown away by Hang on to the feeling. I mean lyrically, we get it…The revolution will not be satirised, is that what you’d have us believe?

Insiders have been heard saying, “Your songs are the musical equivalent of Onion articles. Humorous, confusing and even asinine. … what’s that, did you say pathetic? ‘Cause I thought I heard someone say, “pathetic”. Either way, its out there now.

But seriously, am I to believe you guys read some Alan Watts and bought a couple of Wire records and all of sudden you are the vanguard of elevated conciousness? Are we sleeping in the same cemetery, my friends?

I mean, its great, everything about it is great. My toes can’t stop fucking tapping, that’s how serious it is. Like, great, buddy, you got horns in the band, I bet you live down by the train tracks, too. Do you, do you live down by the tracks?

You don’t have to answer that… Moving on…I’m sure we can all agree that one of the few perks of the time and place in which we find ourselves is that we no longer have to fact check, like anything, ever again, am I right?

On that note, I think it was either Ludwig Wittgenstein or Linus from Peanuts who said, “A serious and good work could be written entirely of jokes.” Would that sum up your brand of identity politics? Three chords and post-romantic agitprop…

Chumbawumba had Noam Chomsky, who do you guys have? I mean really, Mark E Smith? “Don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows”… Zimmerman. El jefe.

don’t know what you may have told yourselves or heard through the various grapevines to which you subscribe but you guys are no Weather Underground and furthermore they were no Velvet Underground.

Oh that’s the line that gets a smirk. Tell me, did Uncle Lou die for this bitter sarcasm? Answer for yourselves, don’t you think its time you answered one question without the same old corner pocket scam?"